Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Can you tell me something about yourself?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

Can this nasal spray slow down Alzheimer's? One couple is helping scientists find out : Shots - Health News - NPR

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

New ‘Dungeons & Dragons’ Single-Player Video Game in the Works - Variety

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why is fitness important?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is one thing nice you did for someone today or something they did for you?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Judge bars Trump administration from deporting family of Boulder attack suspect - The Washington Post

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I'm pretty sure that my dog is transgender, how would I go about transitioning it?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

NASA’s Webb Telescope Captures a Stunning New View of the Sombrero Galaxy - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

Long, dark 'streaks' spotted on Mars aren't what scientists thought - Live Science

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

"D Gukesh Was Blindly...": Magnus Carlsen's First Reaction After Loss To Indian GM - NDTV Sports

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I actually pay taxes

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”